How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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