you guys were way drunker than both of me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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