Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
