I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
