Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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