yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
