see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He felt like a one man threesome
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
