I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
