Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
