just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
dude. I can hear the air.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
