dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
