so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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