i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
