babies were throwing up all over the place
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
