i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
