I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
where are you?
Hypothermia
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
