There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
