The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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