It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
