So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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