you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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