oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
