I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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