I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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