i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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