yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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