And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
