There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
