i don't like sucking hair
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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