TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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