I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
