We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How external is "for external use only"?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
