i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
you made out with another girl for some wings
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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