i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
