Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
