she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
