apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
