So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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