Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
