Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
