You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
