Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You smell like stripper and shame
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my sisters under your porch take her home
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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