I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think your dad took our porno
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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