I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
