Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
