Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
