you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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