when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
