Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
so much tequila, so little girl.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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