Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
