At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
